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The Bears and the Moles
- A fable in the style of James
Thurber - |
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James Thurber (1894-1961) was a famous American satirist. He is probably best known for his fabulous fables, e.g. The Rabbits Who Caused All the Trouble and The Very Proper Gander. The fable below is an obvious attempt at imitating the Thurber style; then again, it is also a homage to the great American author, which is why I have published it here. |
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THE
BEARS AND THE MOLES a
fable about two bears and two moles One
night two bears arrived at the Pear Tree Pub, a cosy little pub in a tiny
village in Two
moles named McCarthy and MacCormac saw the honey jars and the buns on the
cart which the bears had parked behind the pub. Being very interested in
these items but unable to steal them because the bears had secured them
with chains, the moles decided on a different approach. They entered the
pub and sat down next to the bears. "We
are undercover agents working for the FBI," said McCarthy, producing
a fake FBI badge and ordering a pint of Lager. MacCormac,
plucking a dart out of the dartboard and rolling it ominously in his
little paw, added, "We have been watching you, and we think your
behaviour of stealing honey and buns from nearby cottages is quite
unbearable." The
bears were not easily impressed or frightened; one of them just smiled and
answered, "I have a hunch you guys are making mountains out of
molehills. What's more, I love honey and buns, but I hate cheap
puns." "Okay,"
said MacCormac coolly, throwing the dart at the dartboard but missing it
completely. "Here's an offer you can't refuse. If we drink you under
the table, the buns and the honey are ours – including the cart. If we
don't, you are presumed innocent." "Fair
enough," answered the other bear. A friendly guinea-pig who had been
playing billiards was asked to act as referee. The
contest was brutal but ended soon, because even an FBI agent should know
this: due to the sheer size of a bear he will be able to drink a lot more
beer than a mole before getting drunk. Thus the moles soon lost their
bearings and collapsed under the table. Amidst thunderous applause from
the customers the guinea-pig declared the bears the winners. MORAL:
If you blame the bear you will bear the blame. * |
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You can also enjoy a reading of this fable at youtube:
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© 2010 by Bernd
Wahlbrinck, Home
of the Wadel, Germany.
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