last update: 9-11-2010
 
 

 
Bernd Wahlbrinck

The Bears and the Moles

 

- A fable in the style of James Thurber -
 

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   James Thurber (1894-1961) was a famous American satirist. He is probably best known for his fabulous fables, e.g. The Rabbits Who Caused All the Trouble and The Very Proper Gander.

   The fable below is an obvious attempt at imitating the Thurber style; then again, it is also a homage to the great American author, which is why I have published it here.

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THE BEARS AND THE MOLES

a fable about two bears and two moles

 

One night two bears arrived at the Pear Tree Pub, a cosy little pub in a tiny village in Cornwall . All day they had been stealing honey and buns from nearby cottages, and so they decided to have a few beers.

Two moles named McCarthy and MacCormac saw the honey jars and the buns on the cart which the bears had parked behind the pub. Being very interested in these items but unable to steal them because the bears had secured them with chains, the moles decided on a different approach. They entered the pub and sat down next to the bears.

"We are undercover agents working for the FBI," said McCarthy, producing a fake FBI badge and ordering a pint of Lager.

MacCormac, plucking a dart out of the dartboard and rolling it ominously in his little paw, added, "We have been watching you, and we think your behaviour of stealing honey and buns from nearby cottages is quite unbearable."

The bears were not easily impressed or frightened; one of them just smiled and answered, "I have a hunch you guys are making mountains out of molehills. What's more, I love honey and buns, but I hate cheap puns."

"Okay," said MacCormac coolly, throwing the dart at the dartboard but missing it completely. "Here's an offer you can't refuse. If we drink you under the table, the buns and the honey are ours including the cart. If we don't, you are presumed innocent."

"Fair enough," answered the other bear. A friendly guinea-pig who had been playing billiards was asked to act as referee.

The contest was brutal but ended soon, because even an FBI agent should know this: due to the sheer size of a bear he will be able to drink a lot more beer than a mole before getting drunk. Thus the moles soon lost their bearings and collapsed under the table. Amidst thunderous applause from the customers the guinea-pig declared the bears the winners.

Moral: If you blame the bear you will bear the blame.

 

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You can also enjoy a reading of this fable at youtube:

The Bears and the Moles

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bernie@wahlbrinck.de

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2010 by Bernd Wahlbrinck, Home of the Wadel, Germany.
 
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